Happy Spouse 2.0 Day

One of the things I try to do with Down and Dirty DV is try to talk and school filmmakers about the things that no one really told me about, but yet are still critical to the filmmaking process like building business relationships, self-promotion, managing your own head, etc.

There’s a lot of information out there about the tangible aspects of filmmaking- shutter speeds, microphone properties, etc. But many of the things that I have observed that can really put the brakes on people’s film careers are much less tangible.

One such subject to be aware of (if you are so fortunate) is your spouse or significant other. Not that dissimilar to cops and doctors, this industry takes a very heavy toll on personal relationships, because we are often unavailable for the everyday things like dinner, family gatherings, or just simple daily household minutia.

We work on projects that take up all of our time, mental energy and drain our emotions. And apart from that, these same projects often require us to spend a lot of time away from home and damn near every dollar we have pursuing our dreams.

The end result for those of us with wives, husbands and partners is that there is often a “film widow” (or widower) somewhere in the background who sacrifices a great deal to help us realize that dream.

And the f-ed up part about it, is that so many of us are so caught up in our visions that we fail to even recognize the huge role their sacrifices play in allowing us to live out our dreams (or at least pursue them whole-heartedly).

So it was with some pleasant surprise that I noted a NY Times blog article earlier this week that stated that today, December 12th is Spouse 2.0 day, a day for Internet Start-Ups to remember and honor their other halves toiling to hold down the fort, the family and often the finances that are keeping our dreams afloat.

Eventhough Spouse 2.0 Day is for Internet Start-Ups, I think filmmakers fall into the exact same category and that we should all appropriate this day to honor our better halves with a gift, date, or just our whole presence (mental and physical) and stop for a minute and say thank you for holding us down.

Hey, I’m full of as much macho bravado as the next guy, but the honest truth is that I couldn’t do all the things I do – blog, podcast, shoot, write books, consult, run this business if it weren’t for my wife Sonya who also works full-time, but takes on the bulk of the responsibility for our household from cleaning, to the bills, to the kids. She sacrifices quality time with me, so that I can share my knowledge and talents with the world.

So this is just a very public shout out to her and a reminder to everyone else out there hustling to make their dreams come true that somewhere in the background, if you are lucky, there is someone else who loves you enough to put up with all the B.S. that comes along with a career in the arts and we shouldn’t take those people for granted, because they are one of the pillars that we lean on to get us through.

If you are with someone and you are blessed enough to have their full support in your crazy-ass artistic endeavors, as I do, then take some time this weekend (and a few more through out the year) to just stop and BE with them and let them know how much you appreciate them, because without that support of our other halves, our artistic efforts are doomed to disappoint.

I love you, baby. Thanks for having my back all these years.

-Tony

Instructions for Spouse 2.0 day